Every Time I Call Myself The Dirty Vegan

It was second nature for me to begin using my stage name, The Dirty Vegan, back in 2010. Over the years, it flowed. It worked. It got me into rooms. People knew the name when I began blogging, as I did so anonymously and without revealing my name or face for about 5 years into being a professional blogger.

Recently, I took my friend's dance class (she is the instructor and a damn fine pro dancer) and while chatting and making new friends there, I met a fellow author. A lovely lady who is a fantastic novelist. My friend mentioned that, I too, am an author and writer. You'd think I mention these things to people straight-away because I'm a Leo and have quite the social media persona going on. But it's just that, a persona. A character. The Dirty Vegan. When people meet Katie, they get a modest (yet confident), shy and quiet person. I hardly ever mention myself; I like to hear about other people and to listen. I definitely don't boast or showboat. Leave that behavior to the July Leos... not the August ones.

My new author friend asked me what I write, and we chatted about it. I casually and nonchalantly said "The Dirty Vegan Cookbook and a few others", and to my utter shock, she said, "You are her! The Dirty Vegan." She told me that she has my books. I don't know why I keep forgetting that I'm her. Nor why I get surprised that so many people have my books; they do well. I do well. I just have to convince myself of that more often.

It's easy as an artist to feel like a "has been", especially when it's been a couple years since the release of your last title. I felt that way directly after submitting each book to my publisher and during that time after launch when I was involved in preparations for the next one. Although, I was taking interviews, doing appearances or book signings, I felt like I was behind already. It's a weird feeling that I can't quite put into words. I struggle to explain it - how you can put work out and immediately feel like you are Z-list and everyone has already forgotten about you. I was taking calls with newspapers from Boston, my hometown in Connecticut too, on radio talk shows, and instead of being in those moments, my mind was so preoccupied with the next one. My new deadlines. Ideas swirling around my head. Trying to keep my art alive and my attempt to keep The Dirty Vegan relevant.

Lately, every time I refer to myself as The Dirty Vegan, I almost trip over my words. I assume this is how Pee Wee Herman must have felt when he outgrew his famous moniker. I'm likely not outgrowing The Dirty Vegan, but I'm definitely changing. You'll see this more in my vlogs and I'll chat about it with you.

Speaking of vlogging, it is indeed underway. So, expect that soon. There's a lot involved in this whole Youtube thing, and as you know I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so the delays are inevitable. I have to get it right. The results have to match the vision in my head for this project. When it doesn't, I get frustrated. I have changed the set for the show portion of the channel, dozens of times. I have written and re-written scripts. I've made adjustments to the theme. I'm doing a whole lot of work without producing any results. Sponsors are waiting on me. I know it won't be perfect, but it at least needs to feel right. The same way launching The Dirty Vegan blogspot felt and the way writing the books felt. If the vibes are off, I'm thrown off.

I think creating is very much intuitive. At least for me it is. And for now, the Dirty Vegan is signing off. Yeah, I'm still her. For now.